Word of the Gay
*Straight talk on Gay language, one day at-a-time.#28 “green queen”
Not only does this phrase rhyme (something I love to do), but it describes yours truly. Modern life revolves around the concept of “going green”, and almost every industry is capitalizing off of climate change. From the hybrid car to the bio-degradable multi-surface cleaner, we buy-in to our culture’s immediate response to an enormous problem. And we all experience climate change and the effects of the petrol-chemical industries each day – from hormones, pharmaceuticals and other chemicals that remain in our drinking water, to the incremental changes in temperature across the globe.
The average person will not necessarily be aware of these facts as they go about their daily routine. Because even though there is a lot of noise about climate change, and of devastation and irreversible damage to our natural resources, only certain folks seem to be hearing it. I like to refer to a gay man who is conscious of his day-to-day impact on the environment as a Green Queen.
1. noun: an environmentally-conscious homosexual/gay man.
Ex: “I saw the cutest Green Queen recycling his batteries and cell phone charger at Whole Foods the other day.”
[Origin: Yours truly. Not to be confused with one of many women's websites that focus one the environmentally-conscious woman's point of view; see here, here, here, and even here.]
#27 “m4m/w4w”
Gay men and women will oftentimes resort to uncommon practices in the attempt to find love, or in some cases, a quick fuck. The internet has provided many people with a fast and efficient tool in finding one or the other, and in the process, a new language has been born.
Shortening words and phrases to simply a few letters is an easy way to get your point across in a short amount of time. To learn this new short-hand, all you need to do is visit a site like craigslist.org or manhunt.net, and you will be fluent in a matter of days.
1. verb: man for man / woman for woman; used in the search for a sexual partner online
#26 transfag/tryke
In most cases, I am not a particular fan of the words “fag” or “dyke.” But for today’s post, I am bending my own rules to introduce a pair of really interesting terms. Today we are getting two words for the price of one! I think of them as like a yin and yang of transsexual terms. I recently came across “transfag” and “tryke” while doing some internet research for today’s post. It seems as if there are as many ways to classify a person’s sexuality – as there are people. I am constantly intrigued by the ways in which people refer to themselves and others when it relates to sex.
transfag – 1. noun: a person who is both both gay and female-to-male (f-t-m) transsexual. [Related: FTG (female-to-gay). See tryke.]
tryke – 1. noun: a person who is a male-to-female (m-t-f) transsexual and is also a lesbian. [Related: transdyke, female lesbian. See transfag.]
#25 full house
The best part about writing a blog that unearths popular, obscure, and interesting words and phrases is the constant bombardment with creative and useful language. Now when it comes to discussing sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs), there is definitely no exception to the number of nicknames and euphemisms that have been created to refer to, and talk “around”, the subject.
I find the phrase “full house” to be as charming as is it practical. Now if only we could get more people to wear condoms more of the time…
1. noun: having more than one sexually-transmitted disease (STD) at the same time.
Ex: “Oh Gurl, Michael’s so nasty, did you hear she got a full house? Yeah, gonorrhea and syphilis at the same time!”
[Origin: Most likely British. Related to the third-highest hand dealt in a game of poker, or to the popular 1980s television series both of the same name.]
#24 “disco nap”
1. noun: a short period of rest and/or rest, which is carried out in preparation for a night of clubbing, dancing, and perhaps, drinking.
Ex: “I had a really long day at work today, so I am going to have to take a disco nap tonight before we go out!” or “Gurl, I am fading from that last party, can we take a disco nap before we go back out?!”
[See also: "beauty rest"]
#23 “gaydar”
“Gaydar” is a portmanteau word (one that combines two words into one) of the words “gay” and “radar” and refers to the ability of someone to decipher if someone is either homosexual (“gay”) or heterosexual (“straight”) through the use of perception, intuition and past experiences, i.e. their own personal “radar.”
Having the ability to pick up on one’s sexuality is a talent that many boast, but few actually possess. It seems the more time one spends within the gay community, or with gay men and lesbians, the more attuned this ability can actually become. Some gay men and lesbians pride themselves on having a refined gaydar, and use it to their advantage in social interactions.
1. noun: the ability to decipher one’s sexuality (as being gay or lesbian as opposed to heterosexual), through the recognition of either overt or subtle clues in mannerisms, patterns of speech, dress style, etc.
Ex: “My gaydar was going into overdrive when he walked into the room. Who does he think he’s fooling?!”
The term has been made widely popular over the last two decades in North America and Europe, and has mass exposure in popular culture, having been used in countless television programs, short films, full-length features films and on the internet. Check out the WikiGayDar post for more references to “gaydar” in popular culture. In the United Kingdom, www.gaydar.co.uk is a widely popular and trafficked social-networking and dating website devoted to gay men.
#22 “Polari”
Throughout history, gay people have been forced-out of mainstream society and have had to create for themselves a sort of counter-culture, a secret code of ethics, language and activities. One manifestation of this phenomena occurred, and flourished, in Great Britain during the mid-Twentieth century.
“Polari” is described as a “secret language” used by gay people during the twentieth century (mainly in England), that was based on slang used by societal outcasts – namely, criminals, prostitutes, sailors and tramps. It incorporated English rhyme with other languages and slang, such as: Yiddish, Italian and French. As gay slang and culture moved more into the mainstream toward the end of the twentieth century, Polari began to lose its footing and was used less and less. Some of its phrases and slang are still used today, but in far less frequency. Most people who use these “Polari” phrases are most likely unaware of their origins.
EXAMPLES of POLARI phrases and words:
AC/DC: 1. noun: a couple. 2. adjective: bisexual.
joshed up: adjective: looking your best. (root: zhoosh-Yiddish)
on the team: adjective: gay.
polari, polare, parlare, parlaree: 1. noun: gay language. 2. verb: to talk. (possible root: palare-Italian)
[For more information on Polari, the lost language of "the gays", pick up "Fantabulosa: A History of Polari and Gay Slang" by Paul Baker, published by continuum Books.]
#21 “cruise”
The term “cruise” refers to the act of seeking a sexual partner – either the act of moving from one place to another, or the interaction between two individuals. More recently, “eye-fucking” has also been introduced into the vernacular as a more vulgar, colloquial term to use.
Gay men recognize “cruising” as more than just eye contact, but as a sort of sport – to see who can get eyed, or “checked-out” more times while walking through a gay district. Some popular areas for cruising include, but are certainly not limited to: parks, beaches, supermarkets, shopping centers, gyms, bars an restaurants.
- verb
1. to move around in order to look for a possible sexual partner
2. provocative, direct eye contact with possible sexual partners; meant to casually attract a person as you are walking down the street, or are driving in secluded areas
Related: cruised, cruising, cruisy
One movie is tentatively related to this term: The 1980 cult film, “Cruising” featured Al Pacino as an undercover police officer sent into the beat of the “sleazy” underworld of gay S&M and leather culture in New York City during a rash of serial killings. Pacino is sent into the scene as a decoy for the murderer, and the film chronicles his encounters with leather daddies, johns, and ultimately the killer. This film didn’t win any Oscars, and it certainly wouldn’t win any glaad Media Awards either.
[Origin: The terms was coined in the 16th - 17th Centuries when referring to ships at sea, then given to individuals. The gay meaning is most likely derived from mid-Twentieth century North America, when the popularity of the automobile, the full development of the highway system and gay culture combined - resulting in "cruising" spots from Mexico to Canada.]
#20 “gay mafia”
While there may be no documented proof, the existence of a group of gay individuals who run an underground control system of fashion, design, popular culture, art and media has been widely acknowledged. The term “gay mafia” is used to describe this group of individuals who work to keep a handle on all things fabulous.
The term is a turn on the standard definition of “mafia,” which described a system of organized crime, ruled by a “mob boss” and his subordinate cells of henchmen and criminals. The “gay mafia” is said to control areas of particular gay interest and has a certain tongue-and-cheek appeal to both gay and straight people who are interested in popular culture.
Many pop icons have been accredited with being associated with the “gay mafia,” including Cher, Tom Ford, Gianni Versace, Halston, Kenneth Cole and Sir Elton John. Sir Elton John’s 2002 appearance on NBC’s “Will & Grace” paid homage to this concept when he was cast as himself, the “eyeshadowy Don” of the gay mafia.
There is also a professional, Los Angeles-based comedy troupe that goes by the name: “The Gay Mafia“
[Related: pink posse, pink panthers]
#19 “trick”
“Tricks” are treats for some gay men. The term “trick” is most commonly used by gay men when referring to an anonymous sex partner, or “one-night stand.” This word is popular among young gay men, and in particular, in large metropolitan areas like New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco.
The term was popularized in 1999 with the cult gay film, “Trick” starring Christian Campbell and John Paul (“J.P.”) Pitoc. The film follows an aspiring playwright (Campbell) and a hunky go-go dancer (Pitoc) as they make their way through Manhattan in an attempt to follow-through with a one-night stand.
-noun
1. an anonymous sex partner; usually a gay male.
-verb
1. the act of an anonymous sexual encounter; sometimes resulting in the transfer of money.
Related: one-night stand, tricking, tricks
[Origin: Relating to prostitution, the act of picking up a "john" or being a "trick" looking for a possible sexual partner or "date."]
#18 “rice queen”
The term “rice queen” refers to a gay man (non-Asian, and most commonly Caucasian), who is explicitly attracted to Asian men. Rice queen originates from “rice” being the staple of most Asian dishes, and “queen” being a popular name used to describe a gay man. This term is used primarily in jest, and can also be considered derogatory. If you live in a large metropolitan area, or have many gay male friends, you probably know at least one rice queen. There may not be scientific data to support it; but rice queens can commonly be found in the following fields: architecture, interior design, graphic design and advertising.
Find out if you are a rice queen, by CLICKING HERE. Or by WATCHING THIS VIDEO courtesy of Youtube.com.
–noun
1. a man who has a particular interest in, or sexual attraction to, Asian men.
2. derogatory or familiar name given to men (non-Asian) that are interested in Asian men.
: “Did you see his new boyfriend? He only dates Asian guys, what a rice queen!”
Related: bean queen, potato queen, refried beans, sticky rice
[Origin: based on rice being a staple of many Asian dishes.]
#17 “coming out”
The phrase “coming out” (short for “coming out of the closet“), seeks to encapsulate the process by which lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) people make their sexuality known to other people. Over the past few decades, the phrase has become a battle cry for individuals who champion equal rights for gay people. And for many, it has become synonymous with feelings of empowerment, courage and truth.
The phrase comes directly from “skeletons in the closet,” meaning secrets that are kept away from public knowledge due to shame, fear or embarrassment. Bringing those secrets out into the open, or “out of the closet” can then been seen as a way in which to overcome adversity or shame. Related is the phrase “outing,” which refers to the involuntary act of having your sexuality made public.
There are many more gay people out today than ever before, and a current trend is emerging, where being “in the closet” (or, not concealing your sexuality), is understood to be very unhealthy or destructive to the individual. Most LGBT advocacy groups encourage living an “out” lifestyle and advocate for programs that assist people in the “coming out” process.
The epic dance disco track, “I’m Coming Out” by Diana Ross has been heralded as a gay “anthem,” if not THE gay anthem. It was said to have been inspired after the song’s writer witnessed drag queens dressing up and impersonating The Disco Queen in California discos.
- verb
1. the process by which a gay person makes their sexuality public.
2. a voluntary submission of one’s sexuality, usually with an association with LGBTQ
[Related: outed, outing]
#16 “fag hag”
“Fag hag” is a term near and dear to this author’s heart. The term “fag hag” relates, most specifically, to a straight woman that associates with, or is very close to, a gay man or men. It is usually used in a derogatory manner, but has been embraced by many women as a positive self-identifying trait. In some circles, being a Fag Hag represents a status symbol among straight women who champion LGBT equality and rights.
As a member of a gay-straight alliance founded by a self-proclaimed hag, I am particularly interested in everything “fag hag.” SWiSH (Straight Women in Support of Homos) is an example of an organization that focuses on the perspective of a “fag hag.”
Poplar stand-up comedienne and satirist, Margaret Cho offered some very entertaining passages about her experience as a self-proclaimed “fag hag” in her 2000 one-woman act, “I’m The One That I Want.” Essentially, behind every gay man is a steadfast and supportive fag hag – a woman that guides gay men from the tumultuous and exciting days of “coming out” into the golden years of gayhood.
-noun
1. a woman who is closely related to, or feels a strong connection to, gay men.
2. a person, male or female (gay or straight) that advocates on the behalf of gay people or is surrounded by all things gay.
[Related: beard, dyke Mike, dyke tyke]
#15 “mince”
Traditionally, “mince” is a term used to describe cutting things into tiny pieces, or that tasty mixture of chopped dried fruit, distilled spirits and spices, and sometimes beef, suet or venison. In gay terms, it can be described similarly, as a mixture of coiffed aged fruit, distilled in spirits and silibate “S’s,” and sometimes a bit of meat.
“Mincing” describes actions that a man (gay or straight) might make which appear to be odd or even give the impression of femininity or effeminence. Most likely derived from “mincing;” the act of cutting items into small pieces – the phrase came to be synonymous with taking small, dainty steps or speaking in an overly dainty or elegant manner.
–adjective
1. having an effeminate or feminine appearance, position or attitude: a mincing walk.
2. (of the gait, speech, behavior, etc.) affectedly dainty, nice, or elegant. Courtesy of: Dictionary.com
–verb (used without object)
1. (of a person) to be in an effeminate or feminine position: to mince around.
2. to speak with an affected elegance or pretense.
: “Look at him mincing down the street!”
Related: mince, mincer, mincing, minced, minces
[Origin: unknown; may be attributed to the act of mincing (cutting objects into tiny, dainty pieces).]
#14 “dykin’ out”
Similar in many ways to “queening out,” “dykin’ out” refers to women exhibiting stereotypical gay traits or mannerisms. Commonly used to describe an instance when a straight woman experiments with lesbian sex, or when two straight women share intimate moments together.
This term is used primarily by gay men or straight women in a flippant manner, and is most often uttered to solicit a laugh.
#13 “queening out”
You’ve seen it all before… a gay man gets upset or super excited – and suddenly it’s the end of the World. “Queening out” is a popular phrase in the gay community that describes one of two things:
1. a gay male tantrum, or fit of rage
2. an individual exhibiting stereotypical gay tendencies; usually manifest in the form of speech patterns, mimicry of pop culture icons or outlandish dance & movement
The phrase is related to “queen” being a term used to describe an effeminate gay man. “Queening out” is not only used to describe men, but can be used for women, as seen in one of these two videos scenes from YouTube.com: Some Kid Queening Out & Child Abuser Queening Out
Ex: “Oh Gurl, you should have seen her, she was queening out on the dance floor big-time!”
[Related catch-phrases: "Slow Your Roll," "Don't have a cow, man" "Take it Easy," and the less-accepted "Fagging Out"]
#12: “versatile”
Guys who are versatile really like to do it all… they are the sexual OCD or bi-polar of the gay community. They are both active and passive, dominant and submissive, top and bottom.
[Syn: Vers, VERS, VRS, flip, flip-flop]
#11 “bottom”
Newton’s third law, the law of Reciprocal Actions, states that: “For every force there is an equal, but opposite, force.” This is one of three basic physical laws he used to describe motion and the basic principals by which we have come to understand the relationships between the forces of nature that act upon the body and the motion of the body itself.
In gay culture, it can be pretty cut-and-dry: for every “top” there is a “bottom.”
“Bottoms” enjoy being on the receiving end of sexual activity and are thought to be the submissive individual in the relationship. In gay male relationships, many straight people often refer to the “wife” of the couple, or the partner who is more feminine or submissive.
-noun
1. an individual who is penetrated, or takes a passive role during sexual activity
2. the perceived submissive individual in a relationship or sexual encounter
3. in the S&M and leather community; an individual who takes a submissive role or “submits” and identifies as a masochist, fem, femme, or slave
-verb
1. the act of taking a submissive role during sexual activity (bottoming, bottoms, bottomed)
-advjective
1. to be submissive or take orders in a given situation
2. “bossy” bottom can refer to an individual who takes a passive role in the sex act, but who has an assertive or dominant personality
:”I am a Bottom.”
:”I am interested in guys who want to bottom.”
#10 “top”
Navigating the sexual playing field is a bit more complicated for gay people than our straight counterparts. We have to define our sexual roles in different ways due to the fact that our sexual partners have the same set of “equipment” as we do. Inserting tab “A” into slot “B” does not apply. So, we make use of slots “C” and “D” quite a bit more – and it’s oh, so fun!
In gay culture, the term “top” refers to people who are the dominant, or active person in the sack.
-noun
1. an individual who penetrates, or takes an active role during sexual activity
2. the perceived dominant individual in a relationship or sexual encounter
3. in the S&M and leather community; an individual who takes a dominant role or “charge” and identifies as a sadist, dom, domme, or dominatrix
-verb
1. the act of taking an active role during sexual activity (topping, tops, topped)
-advjective
1. to be bossy or take charge in a given situation
:”I am a Top.”
:”I am interested in guys who are strictly into topping.”
Reference: Ramon Johnson has a great entry on his About.com profile dedicated to the different labels gay men assume when describing themselves sexually.
[Synonyms: active partner, active, ass-bandit, back-door man, booty bandit, bugger, butt pirate, dom, domme, dominatrix, giver, master, pitch, pitcher, top man]
#9 “Tina”
When it comes to thinking up catchy phrases and nicknames for illicit drugs, no one does it better than gay men. The term “Tina,” or “Teena” is widely used in gay communities as the casual or street term for crystal methamphetamine.
The name derived from the fact that the drug is commonly bought in sixteenth of an ounce packages; known as a “teena.” The name has also been attributed to the Western female name, Christina, which sounds similar to part of the drugs name, “crystal.”
[Origin: Most likely American, either San Francisco or New York City. The phrase was popularized by men frequenting online dating sites in the late 1990s and early 2000s.]
For a comprehensive list of Methamphetamine slang terms, visit KCI: The Anti-Meth Site. Many LGBT, HIV/AIDS and anti-drug organizations have focused on this particular drug in the past ten years for being so closely linked with the increase in HIV infection rates among young men. “Hurricane Tina” was a successful ad campaign and program launched by Gay Men’s Health Crisis in New York City in 2007 to spread awareness of this troubling trend.
