Word of the Gay
*Straight talk on Gay language, one word at-a-time.#41: “PLWHA”
-acronym
1. “People Living With HIV/AIDS”. This is often abbreviated as “PLWHA”, “PLWA”, “PLHIV”, or “People Living Positively” has also been used.
Related: “positive”, HIV+, HIV positive
Ex: “The number of PLWHA in the United States has increased at lower rates than in other parts of the world.”
[Origin: American, but used widely. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HIV-positive_people%5D
#40: “homosensual”
Minorities and oppressed peoples often reappropriate words and phrases that are used to disparage them as a means of empowerment. Pejoratives like ‘queer’, and ‘faggot’ have long been used to hurt gay people, but over the years have been reclaimed and even used by the general populace as well.
And in some cases, this reappropriation is so successful as to turn a previously disparaging word into the preferred term: for example, ‘gay’, previously an insult, is now strongly preferred to ‘homosexual’, both as an adjective and a noun. [wiki: reappropriation] ‘Gay’ may be used over ‘homosexual’ so as not to identify solely on the basis of sexuality.
‘Homosensual’ is a new and creative portmanteau (a combination of two words and a favorite of Word of the Gay) being used by comedians Bryan Safi and Erin Gibson on their weekly podcast, “Throwing Shade.”
-adjective or noun, portmanteau
1. the combination of the terms ‘homosexual’ and ‘sensual’.
2. adjective: of or pertaining to the homosexual senses or physical sensation; sensory.
3. adjective: pertaining to, inclined to, or preoccupied with the gratification of the senses or homosexual appetites; carnal; fleshly.
4. adjective: arousing or exciting the senses or appetites of a gay person.
5. noun: a sensual gay person, in most instances a gay man.
6. see also: “Double Headed Disco” party by the same name.
Related: homo, gay, homosexual, sensual
Ex: “God, he’s so homosensual.”
Ex: “Hi, I’m homosensual Bryan Safi.”
[Origin: American. Used by Bryan Safi and Erin Gibson in the opening of the weekly podcast, “Throwing Shade”. Root: ‘Sensual’: 1400-50 late Middle English, from Latin ‘sensus’ sense.]
#39 “kai kai”
We seem to be on a drag-related streak here on Word of the Gay, one that’s lasted almost an entire year since our last post in June of 2011. With the season finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 4 (nearly) behind us, we were inspired by cast member Sharon Needles and her boyfriend Alaska (who is also a drag queen) to post this definition.
“Kai kai” [rhymes with “eye eye”] refers to when two drag queens engage in sexual activity or “hook up”. The term most likely derives from the American slang term “ki ki” [pronounced “kee kee”], which is a general term used when gay men laugh, giggle or joke around with one another. The contemporary use of “kiki” as it relates to humor may originate with the French translation, meaning “to choke” or “to throttle.” Possibly related: many drag queens also use the term “gag” or “gagging” when something excites, impresses or overwhelms them. The term “kiki” may also relate to the drag & ball scene when young people take part in an event called a “Kiki Ball.” Essentially, kai kai, kiki (along with their multiple iterations and uses) will often describe the interaction between drag queens, performers and/or gay men.
You may hear drag queens speak disparagingly about kai kai, or make jokes about other drag queens hooking up or having sex with each other.
-verb
1. the act of two drag queens having sexual relations; i.e. “hooking up” or entering into an intimate or sexual relationship.
Related: ki ki, kai kai’d
Ex: “So did you and that other drag queen kai kai?”
Ex: “I never thought that those two would ever kai kai, but they both disappeared after the show.”
[Origin: Most likely American. Current usage; drag queens and other people involved in the nightlife entertainment industry.]
#38 “hide the candy”
Drag Queens are possibly the most notorious illusionists that have ever walked this Great Green Earth. For centuries, men have delighted audiences appearing as women, wearing all types of “female” clothing, wigs, make-up and offering many types of entertainment. These range from singing, dancing and lip-syncing to even fire-eating, acrobatics and so on. Quite obviously, the most important way in which to maintain the illusion is to make sure their male genitalia is hidden from view. So in lies the secret to their crotch maintenance… to “hide the candy,” as “candy” referring to their “cock n’ balls” or penis and testicles for those academic types.
As a guest judge on “RuPaul’s Drag Race“, actor and singer Vanessa Williams was amazed at this remarkable method, and remarked on “Lopez Tonight” at just how amazing these Queens maintain their crotches. The program pits 12 (or 13 as was the case in its 3rd Season) drag queens against one another in the battle to become the “Next Drag Superstar,” and has been an instant hit and will be in its fourth season in 2012. The drag queens make reference to tucking and hiding their candy quite often, and it has been a subject of many highlighted conversations throughout the series’ run.
-verb
1. the act of a drag queen to conceal the bulge in the crotch before a performance with a durable tape, usually gaff or ducked tape.
Related: tucking, tucknology
Ex: “I can’t go on stage until I hide the candy.”
Ex: “She needs to learn how to hide her candy properly, I can see everything she’s packin’.”
[Origin: Most likely American, and used by drag queens all over the world.]
#37 “synerjizz”
This post is fairly straightforward. Enjoy.
[sin-er-jiz]
-verb
1. The act of two (or more) men ejaculating simultaneously, or within a 5 second time frame of one another.
Related: synerjizzed, synerjizzing
Ex: “I’d really love to synerjizz with my boyfriend someday.”
Ex: “Omg, the sex was so hot, we synerjizzed.”
[Origin: American, offered by a regular Word of the Gay reader and gay phrasologist.]
#36 “pronoun dance”
Avoiding a subject that you are confused by, or uncomfortable with, is something that most people deal with at some point in their life. However, when dealing with sexual orientation, and/or gender identity and expression, some people find it so difficult that they are unable to use the proper pronouns to describe or refer to someone else. And unfortunately, far too many individuals (in my opinion) use this “pronoun dance” to avoid speaking about someone else’s sexual orientation or gender identity, or to speak about their own open and honestly.
When someone transitions from one gender to another, their family and friends, and extended network of acquaintances, colleagues, etc. can find it confusing and difficult to discuss that person in conversation. For some, discussing someone else’s new identity who has transitioned from one gender to another can be difficult , especially when they were so familiar with their old identity. Remembering to keep names and pronouns straight is a very important thing to be able to do for someone who is trans. However, it’s only a fraction of the trans experience and the complexity of their experience. Due to this, it is not uncommon for some to mistakenly refer to someone using their former identity (either by name or by pronoun); in a worst-case scenario, the use of gender-neutral pronouns are used to avoid the subject.
In other cases, there may be times when someone disguises their sexual orientation through the use of gender-neutral pronouns – in order to keep their sexual orientation private. For instance, for members of the U.S. Armed Forces that are either gay, lesbian, or bisexual, they are forced to keep their personal hidden on a daily basis. That is because the military’s current ban on openly gay, lesbian, and bisexual service members (“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” – a.k.a. DADT) has forced them to keep their sexual orientation and relationships secret. Therefore, many will refer to their partners by first name only if they have a gender-neutral name (i.e. “Chris”, “Pat”, or “Jay”), may even invent a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, and will avoid the use of “her”, “him”, “he”, or “she” altogether.
[pro-nown danse]
-noun
1. in conversation, the process used to avoid the use of gender-specific pronouns; commonly related to anxiety surrounding a third party’s sexual orientation or gender identity
-verb
1. using gender-neutral pronouns when describing another person, based on their sexual orientation and/or gender identity
Related: pronoun dancing
Ex: “Joe led Mary in the pronoun dance when the subject of his sister Julia’s transitioning process came up.”
Ex: “Sgt. Jones used the pronoun dance to avoid talking about his boyfriend with other members of his Army unit.”
[Origin: Most likely American, mid-20th Century.]
#35 “walker”
Throughout history, gay men and straight women have gone together like peanut butter & jelly, peas & carrots, or Cagney & Lacey. The level of intimacy that can be reached between these two individuals can rival even that of the most star-crossed of lovers. Now, couple the needs of an older woman who is either single or in a loveless marriage and has vast resources – with that of a younger, attractive man who’s looking to advance his social standing – and you’ve got sheer magic.
“Walker” describes the man in this equation; a young gay man that provides company for older women for the purposes of keeping her company, giving her advice, and escorting her to social events – in lieu of a husband or boyfriend. A walker will usually accompany a widow or unmarried woman, and act as both company and a sort of handler or aide. Since the woman is usually “of a certain age” the term also has a double-meaning, which refers to a walker, which is a device used to assist with standing and/or walking.
This term should not be confused either “beard” or “frock,” which both describe individuals (bread-female, frock-male) who are romantically linked to either a gay man (beard) or a lesbian (frock) in order to keep their sexual orientation hidden. Walkers are not necessarily in (or out of) the closet.
1. noun: A man (usually younger and gay) who is in a non-sexual relationship with an older woman (usually single or widowed), and serves as her social escort, muse, best friend, artistic expert, or confidante.
Ex: “Isn’t that Ms. Weintraub? I haven’t seen her since her husband passed away last year. It looks like that walker of hers is going to be out with her even more now.”
Ex: “Well, I saw Doris at two different events with her walker, Lawrence, again this week.”
[Origin: Most likely American or European, and used almost exclusively in high society circles.]
[Related: “beard” (female who acts as a closeted gay man’s companion in public); “frock” (male who acts as a closeted lesbian’s companion). Examples: George “Gould” Strong & Edith Bouvier Beale; Jack McFarland & Karen Walker.]
#34 “swish”
Throughout history, words have been used to discriminate, pigeon-hole, or otherwise keep groups of people “in their place” in society. To that end, groups that have been the target of vicious name-calling often reclaim insulting language as a way to self-identify and empower themselves as an individual, or as a member of a larger community.
Reclamatory language, as it is referred to, is language with pejorative connotations that people with marginalized identities use to identify themselves. Language which has been used as an insult, and which is still used as an insult today, can be reclaimed through the use of reclamatory language. However, there are some words, like the “n”, “f”, and “c” words, for instance, that many people believe to be too far beyond reclaiming for anyone to use in an empowering manner.
“Swish” is an example of this phenomenon; and of how a group of like-minded individuals were determined to build a positive movement to further the rights of LGBT people through reclaiming an often insulting slang word used to describe “effeminate” men. The small group of friends has evolved into a large, diverse community comprising people of every background, shoe size, hair color, and sexual identity. With more than 1,000 members in 32 states and 4 countries, “Swish” creates volunteer, advocacy, and educational opportunities for the gay and straight communities to learn from each other and work together toward full, unwavering equality for LGBT people.
plural -ers. adjective -y [swish]
1. adjective (swishy, swishing): A pejorative word used to describe flamboyant characteristics, personality traits, or physical attributes of a homosexual person; usually a gay man.
2a. noun: An American gay-straight alliance, founded in 2003 (originally an acronym for Straight Women In Support of Homos), that provides opportunities for straight women and men to contribute their time, energy, and talents to furthering the LGBT rights movement.
2b: noun (Swisher): A member of “Swish”, who embodies the mission and vision of the organization – to further the LGBT rights movement.
3a. verb: To fight for equal rights for the LGBT community using one’s talents, smarts, and sense of style.
3b. verb: To make activism uplifting, rewarding, and fun. To “swish” is the emancipation from what was once a pejorative to an ability to envision and create a world in which equality, freedom, and love for all LGBT people is valued and celebrated.
Ex: “Oh my, would you just look at that guy swishing down the street!”
Ex: “I love being a Swisher! Each year at NYC Pride, I am able to set a positive example for straight allies in the LGBT movement and beyond!”
[Origin: Most likely American or European, used in pre-Stonewall (i.e. 1969 A.D.) gay male communities.]
#33 “salad”
As a pubescent teenage boy in 1990s America, I certainly had my fill of sexually-charged imagery to fixate upon – Madonna’s “Truth or Dare” documentary (but mainly her male back-up dancers) and those hot, black-and-white Calvin Klein underwear ads. But the main object of my affection in those days, and still continues to be, of course, one “Marky Mark” Mark Wahlberg.
Wahlberg’s body certainly defines the term, “Salad” – which describes a man with a well-defined, muscular physique. You know the type; the guys who aren’t the least bit afraid to take off their shirt or drop their drawers. Basically, we’re talking mainly about underwear models, body-builders, dancers, and athletes. Others might describe those of us who are infatuated with this bodytype as “muscle Queens” or being into “muscle worship”. And why not! These guys are just fucking hot.
[sal-ad] – Definitions, in part, courtesy of the “Salad” Facebook profile.
1. noun: a sexually attractive man with a well-developed physique; well-proportioned and imposing appearance suggestive of health and strength; otherwise good-looking.
2. noun: either of two fleshy protuberances forming the lower and back part of the trunk; buttock; ass.
Ex 1: “Gurl, there was so much salad at The Abbey I didn’t know what to do with myself!
Ex 2: “His salad was like two perfectly tanned mounds of man-flesh.”
[Origin: United States, ca. 1990s. Attributed to “P. Farace”, New York City’s West Village; courtesy Facebook profile for “Salad”]
#32 “trade”
It goes without saying that there are a great many words and phrases that relate to casual sexual encounters. “Trade” is one such word. The word originates from Polari (post #22), the now almost entirely defunct gay “slanguage” from The United Kingdom.
“Trade” originally referred to a straight male who was the sexual partner of another man, either gay or bisexual, and quickly came to describe any pair of male sexual partners. Over time, the term has also been commonly attributed to younger or economically-disadvataged man who becomes the sexual partner of another older, or considerably more affluent, man.
Some specific examples of its use relate to men who seek out overtly masculine sexual partners. For instance, some men will seek out service members of the armed forces, who exemplify for them a very masculine example of manhood. These men are referred to as “military trade“, and may or may not be gay.
Currently, and in most cases, the word is used casually to refer to any male sexual partner of another man.
Ex: “I was at my favorite bar again last night, trying to pick up some trade.”, or “Did you see Chris and his trade come out of the club when it closed last night!”
-noun
1. the male sexual partner of another man; depending upon the circumstance may identify as straight, bisexual, or gay; individual may also receive payment after sexual acts are performed
[Related: “hook up”, “MSM” (men who have sex with men), “one night stand”, “rough trade”, “trick”]
#31 “realness”
Exhibiting “realness” in the drag world commonly refers to the ability to “blend” or “pass” as the opposite sex, or as heterosexual. Because for some, it’s got to be real.
“To be able to blend, that’s what realness is… the idea of realness is to look as much like your straight counter-part as possible.” – Dorian Corey, “Paris Is Burning”.
Others have, of course, used this particular phrase over the years, but none as fabulous as Dorian. What her quote, and interview in this documentary, focuses on is the theme of emulating specific traits or qualities of the opposite sex, gender, or sexual identity. Gay men exhibiting ultra-masculinity and toughness to “pass” as straight; or, men wearing the latest couture-inspired fashion to seem as feminine and glamorous as possible.
[reel-ness]
1. verb: to perform or exhibit the quality of being either of the opposite sex, or gender, or heterosexual – if one is homosexual.
2. noun: the quality one might possess if he, or she, can successfully convince others that they are off the opposite sex, or gender; or to be heterosexual if they are homosexual.
Ex: “She was giving us some fierce realness tonight! She could’ve convinced anyone he was a girl.”
[Origin: United States, probably ca. 1970s. Related words: “passing”, “blending”, ]
#30 “tucknology”
The term “tucknology” refers to the methods and processes that drag performers (a.k.a. “drag queens”) use to create the illusion of the female form, “down there”.
Being friends with more than a few drag queens, I have grown accustomed to assisting them with their hair, their make-up, and overall look. But there is always a point in the process of getting ready when they excuse themselves, go into the bathroom with a roll of tape and a few layers of undergarments, and come out a changed – woman.
A performer’s tucknology is as unique as their wig, so no two people will necessarily have the same approach. Many implement a “tuck and fold” technique, while others manage to wear very tight underwear and tape down the remaining, offending, buldges. There are more than a few online resources available, for the more adventurous readers out there to peruse… here, here, or even here.
plural -gies. [tuk-nol-uh-gee]
1. noun: the study of tucking and/or binding male genitalia, for the purposes of making them appear to be female.
2. noun: the practice (techniques and processes) that deal with tucking male genetalia.
Ex: “Gurl, whatever techniques you are using down there – your tucknology is workin’ for you!”
[Origin: Joshua Tjaden, 2006]
#29 “gayby”
“Gayby” is yet another portmanteau word (one that combines two words into one) of the words “gay” and “baby” and refers to the little tykes that are adopted or conceived by a gay, lesbian or LGBT couple.
While this word might not yet have caught on in wider circles, there are already “gaybys” being featured on primetime television, as on the ABC sitcom, “Modern Family“.
1. noun: a child that is adopted into a gay, lesbian or LGBT family or home.
Ex: “Chuck… Larry! Your little Fuschia is just the cutest little gayby I have ever seen!”
[Origin: Most likely American. Related words: “gaydar”, “gaysian”, “gayborhood”, etc.]
#28 “green queen”
Not only does this phrase rhyme (something I love to do), but it describes yours truly. Modern life revolves around the concept of “going green”, and almost every industry is capitalizing off of climate change. From the hybrid car to the bio-degradable multi-surface cleaner, we buy-in to our culture’s immediate response to an enormous problem. And we all experience climate change and the effects of the petrol-chemical industries each day – from hormones, pharmaceuticals and other chemicals that remain in our drinking water, to the incremental changes in temperature across the globe.
The average person will not necessarily be aware of these facts as they go about their daily routine. Because even though there is a lot of noise about climate change, and of devastation and irreversible damage to our natural resources, only certain folks seem to be hearing it. I like to refer to a gay man who is conscious of his day-to-day impact on the environment as a Green Queen.
1. noun: an environmentally-conscious homosexual/gay man.
Ex: “I saw the cutest Green Queen recycling his batteries and cell phone charger at Whole Foods the other day.”
[Origin: Yours truly. Not to be confused with one of many women’s websites that focus one the environmentally-conscious woman’s point of view; see here, here, here, and even here.]
#27 “m4m/w4w”
Gay men and women will oftentimes resort to uncommon practices in the attempt to find love, or in some cases, a quick fuck. The internet has provided many people with a fast and efficient tool in finding one or the other, and in the process, a new language has been born.
Shortening words and phrases to simply a few letters is an easy way to get your point across in a short amount of time. To learn this new short-hand, all you need to do is visit a site like craigslist.org or manhunt.net, and you will be fluent in a matter of days.
1. verb: man for man / woman for woman; used in the search for a sexual partner online
#26 transfag/tryke
In most cases, I am not a particular fan of the words “fag” or “dyke.” But for today’s post, I am bending my own rules to introduce a pair of really interesting terms. Today we are getting two words for the price of one! I think of them as like a yin and yang of transsexual terms. I recently came across “transfag” and “tryke” while doing some internet research for today’s post. It seems as if there are as many ways to classify a person’s sexuality – as there are people. I am constantly intrigued by the ways in which people refer to themselves and others when it relates to sex.
transfag – 1. noun: a person who is both both gay and female-to-male (f-t-m) transsexual. [Related: FTG (female-to-gay). See tryke.]
tryke – 1. noun: a person who is a male-to-female (m-t-f) transsexual and is also a lesbian. [Related: transdyke, female lesbian. See transfag.]
#25 full house
The best part about writing a blog that unearths popular, obscure, and interesting words and phrases is the constant bombardment with creative and useful language. Now when it comes to discussing sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs), there is definitely no exception to the number of nicknames and euphemisms that have been created to refer to, and talk “around”, the subject.
I find the phrase “full house” to be as charming as is it practical. Now if only we could get more people to wear condoms more of the time…
1. noun: having more than one sexually-transmitted disease (STD) at the same time.
Ex: “Oh Gurl, Michael’s so nasty, did you hear she got a full house? Yeah, gonorrhea and syphilis at the same time!”
[Origin: Most likely British. Related to the third-highest hand dealt in a game of poker, or to the popular 1980s television series both of the same name.]
#24 “disco nap”
1. noun: a short period of rest and/or rest, which is carried out in preparation for a night of clubbing, dancing, and perhaps, drinking.
Ex: “I had a really long day at work today, so I am going to have to take a disco nap tonight before we go out!” or “Gurl, I am fading from that last party, can we take a disco nap before we go back out?!”
[See also: “beauty rest”]
#23 “gaydar”
“Gaydar” is a portmanteau word (one that combines two words into one) of the words “gay” and “radar” and refers to the ability of someone to decipher if someone is either homosexual (“gay”) or heterosexual (“straight”) through the use of perception, intuition and past experiences, i.e. their own personal “radar.”
Having the ability to pick up on one’s sexuality is a talent that many boast, but few actually possess. It seems the more time one spends within the gay community, or with gay men and lesbians, the more attuned this ability can actually become. Some gay men and lesbians pride themselves on having a refined gaydar, and use it to their advantage in social interactions.
1. noun: the ability to decipher one’s sexuality (as being gay or lesbian as opposed to heterosexual), through the recognition of either overt or subtle clues in mannerisms, patterns of speech, dress style, etc.
Ex: “My gaydar was going into overdrive when he walked into the room. Who does he think he’s fooling?!”
The term has been made widely popular over the last two decades in North America and Europe, and has mass exposure in popular culture, having been used in countless television programs, short films, full-length features films and on the internet. Check out the WikiGayDar post for more references to “gaydar” in popular culture. In the United Kingdom, www.gaydar.co.uk is a widely popular and trafficked social-networking and dating website devoted to gay men.
#22 “Polari”
Throughout history, gay people have been forced-out of mainstream society and have had to create for themselves a sort of counter-culture, a secret code of ethics, language and activities. One manifestation of this phenomena occurred, and flourished, in Great Britain during the mid-Twentieth century.
“Polari” is described as a “secret language” used by gay people during the twentieth century (mainly in England), that was based on slang used by societal outcasts – namely, criminals, prostitutes, sailors and tramps. It incorporated English rhyme with other languages and slang, such as: Yiddish, Italian and French. As gay slang and culture moved more into the mainstream toward the end of the twentieth century, Polari began to lose its footing and was used less and less. Some of its phrases and slang are still used today, but in far less frequency. Most people who use these “Polari” phrases are most likely unaware of their origins.
EXAMPLES of POLARI phrases and words:
AC/DC: 1. noun: a couple. 2. adjective: bisexual.
joshed up: adjective: looking your best. (root: zhoosh-Yiddish)
on the team: adjective: gay.
polari, polare, parlare, parlaree: 1. noun: gay language. 2. verb: to talk. (possible root: palare-Italian)
[For more information on Polari, the lost language of “the gays”, pick up “Fantabulosa: A History of Polari and Gay Slang” by Paul Baker, published by continuum Books.]
Word of the Gay 