Word of the Gay

*Straight talk on Gay language, one word at-a-time.

Archive for Sex Again

#39 “kai kai”

We seem to be on a drag-related streak here on Word of the Gay, one that’s lasted almost an entire year since our last post in June of 2011. With the season finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 4 (nearly) behind us, we were inspired by cast member Sharon Needles and her boyfriend Alaska (who is also a drag queen) to post this definition.

“Kai kai” [rhymes with “eye eye”] refers to when two drag queens engage in sexual activity or “hook up”.  The term most likely derives from the American slang term “ki ki” [pronounced “kee kee”], which is a general term used when gay men laugh, giggle or joke around with one another.  The contemporary use of “kiki” as it relates to humor may originate with the French translation, meaning “to choke” or “to throttle.”  Possibly related: many drag queens also use the term “gag” or “gagging” when something excites, impresses or overwhelms them.  The term “kiki” may also relate to the drag & ball scene when young people take part in an event called a “Kiki Ball.” Essentially, kai kai, kiki (along with their multiple iterations and uses) will often describe the interaction between drag queens, performers and/or gay men.

You may hear drag queens speak disparagingly about kai kai, or make jokes about other drag queens hooking up or having sex with each other.

-verb

1. the act of two drag queens having sexual relations; i.e. “hooking up” or entering into an intimate or sexual relationship.

Related: ki ki, kai kai’d

Ex: “So did you and that other drag queen kai kai?”

Ex: “I never thought that those two would ever kai kai, but they both disappeared after the show.”

[Origin: Most likely American. Current usage; drag queens and other people involved in the nightlife entertainment industry.]

#12: “versatile”

Guys who are versatile really like to do it all… they are the sexual OCD or bi-polar of the gay community.  They are both active and passive, dominant and submissive, top and bottom.

[Syn: Vers, VERS, VRS, flip, flip-flop]

#11 “bottom”

Newton’s third law, the law of Reciprocal Actions, states that: “For every force there is an equal, but opposite, force.” This is one of three basic physical laws he used to describe motion and the basic principals by which we have come to understand the relationships between the forces of nature that act upon the body and the motion of the body itself.

In gay culture, it can be pretty cut-and-dry: for every “top” there is a “bottom.”

Bottoms” enjoy being on the receiving end of sexual activity and are thought to be the submissive individual in the relationship. In gay male relationships, many straight people often refer to the “wife” of the couple, or the partner who is more feminine or submissive.

-noun
1. an individual who is penetrated, or takes a passive role during sexual activity
2. the perceived submissive individual in a relationship or sexual encounter
3. in the S&M and leather community; an individual who takes a submissive role or “submits” and identifies as a masochist, fem, femme, or slave

-verb
1. the act of taking a submissive role during sexual activity (bottoming, bottoms, bottomed)

-advjective
1. to be submissive or take orders in a given situation
2. “bossy” bottom can refer to an individual who takes a passive role in the sex act, but who has an assertive or dominant personality

:”I am a Bottom.”
:”I am interested in guys who want to bottom.”

#10 “top”

Navigating the sexual playing field is a bit more complicated for gay people than our straight counterparts. We have to define our sexual roles in different ways due to the fact that our sexual partners have the same set of “equipment” as we do. Inserting tab “A” into slot “B” does not apply. So, we make use of slots “C” and “D” quite a bit more – and it’s oh, so fun!

In gay culture, the term “top” refers to people who are the dominant, or active person in the sack.

-noun
1. an individual who penetrates, or takes an active role during sexual activity
2. the perceived dominant individual in a relationship or sexual encounter
3. in the S&M and leather community; an individual who takes a dominant role or “charge” and identifies as a sadist, dom, domme, or dominatrix

-verb
1. the act of taking an active role during sexual activity (topping, tops, topped)

-advjective
1. to be bossy or take charge in a given situation

:”I am a Top.”
:”I am interested in guys who are strictly into topping.”

Reference: Ramon Johnson has a great entry on his About.com profile dedicated to the different labels gay men assume when describing themselves sexually.

[Synonyms: active partner, active, ass-bandit, back-door man, booty bandit, bugger, butt pirate, dom, domme, dominatrix, giver, master, pitch, pitcher, top man]