Archive for Things I Don’t Have
Throughout history, gay men and straight women have gone together like peanut butter & jelly, peas & carrots, or Cagney & Lacey. The level of intimacy that can be reached between these two individuals can rival even that of the most star-crossed of lovers. Now, couple the needs of an older woman who is either single or in a loveless marriage and has vast resources – with that of a younger, attractive man who’s looking to advance his social standing – and you’ve got sheer magic.
“Walker” describes the man in this equation; a young gay man that provides company for older women for the purposes of keeping her company, giving her advice, and escorting her to social events – in lieu of a husband or boyfriend. A walker will usually accompany a widow or unmarried woman, and act as both company and a sort of handler or aide. Since the woman is usually “of a certain age” the term also has a double-meaning, which refers to a walker, which is a device used to assist with standing and/or walking.
This term should not be confused either “beard” or “frock,” which both describe individuals (bread-female, frock-male) who are romantically linked to either a gay man (beard) or a lesbian (frock) in order to keep their sexual orientation hidden. Walkers are not necessarily in (or out of) the closet.
1. noun: A man (usually younger and gay) who is in a non-sexual relationship with an older woman (usually single or widowed), and serves as her social escort, muse, best friend, artistic expert, or confidante.
Ex: “Isn’t that Ms. Weintraub? I haven’t seen her since her husband passed away last year. It looks like that walker of hers is going to be out with her even more now.”
Ex: “Well, I saw Doris at two different events with her walker, Lawrence, again this week.”
[Origin: Most likely American or European, and used almost exclusively in high society circles.]
[Related: “beard” (female who acts as a closeted gay man’s companion in public); “frock” (male who acts as a closeted lesbian’s companion). Examples: George “Gould” Strong & Edith Bouvier Beale; Jack McFarland & Karen Walker.]
As a pubescent teenage boy in 1990s America, I certainly had my fill of sexually-charged imagery to fixate upon – Madonna’s “Truth or Dare” documentary (but mainly her male back-up dancers) and those hot, black-and-white Calvin Klein underwear ads. But the main object of my affection in those days, and still continues to be, of course, one “Marky Mark” Mark Wahlberg.
Wahlberg’s body certainly defines the term, “Salad” – which describes a man with a well-defined, muscular physique. You know the type; the guys who aren’t the least bit afraid to take off their shirt or drop their drawers. Basically, we’re talking mainly about underwear models, body-builders, dancers, and athletes. Others might describe those of us who are infatuated with this bodytype as “muscle Queens” or being into “muscle worship”. And why not! These guys are just fucking hot.
[sal-ad] – Definitions, in part, courtesy of the “Salad” Facebook profile.
1. noun: a sexually attractive man with a well-developed physique; well-proportioned and imposing appearance suggestive of health and strength; otherwise good-looking.
2. noun: either of two fleshy protuberances forming the lower and back part of the trunk; buttock; ass.
Ex 1: “Gurl, there was so much salad at The Abbey I didn’t know what to do with myself!
Ex 2: “His salad was like two perfectly tanned mounds of man-flesh.”
[Origin: United States, ca. 1990s. Attributed to “P. Farace”, New York City’s West Village; courtesy Facebook profile for “Salad”]
The best part about writing a blog that unearths popular, obscure, and interesting words and phrases is the constant bombardment with creative and useful language. Now when it comes to discussing sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs), there is definitely no exception to the number of nicknames and euphemisms that have been created to refer to, and talk “around”, the subject.
I find the phrase “full house” to be as charming as is it practical. Now if only we could get more people to wear condoms more of the time…
1. noun: having more than one sexually-transmitted disease (STD) at the same time.
Ex: “Oh Gurl, Michael’s so nasty, did you hear she got a full house? Yeah, gonorrhea and syphilis at the same time!”
“Fag hag” is a term near and dear to this author’s heart. The term “fag hag” relates, most specifically, to a straight woman that associates with, or is very close to, a gay man or men. It is usually used in a derogatory manner, but has been embraced by many women as a positive self-identifying trait. In some circles, being a Fag Hag represents a status symbol among straight women who champion LGBT equality and rights.
As a member of a gay-straight alliance founded by a self-proclaimed hag, I am particularly interested in everything “fag hag.” SWiSH (Straight Women in Support of Homos) is an example of an organization that focuses on the perspective of a “fag hag.”
Poplar stand-up comedienne and satirist, Margaret Cho offered some very entertaining passages about her experience as a self-proclaimed “fag hag” in her 2000 one-woman act, “I’m The One That I Want.” Essentially, behind every gay man is a steadfast and supportive fag hag – a woman that guides gay men from the tumultuous and exciting days of “coming out” into the golden years of gayhood.
1. a woman who is closely related to, or feels a strong connection to, gay men.
2. a person, male or female (gay or straight) that advocates on the behalf of gay people or is surrounded by all things gay.
[Related: beard, dyke Mike, dyke tyke]